Fear taunts us, stalls us, compares us to others who seem so much more equipped for success or are already more successful. Fear keeps us from voicing a great idea because we’re worried it may be lame. Fear is like those stupid trick birthday candles that never really go out. Just when you think you’ve extinguished fear, it flickers back to life again.
One night following a gig the guys and I were back in the hotel and ended up watching “Bad Ink”. In a nutshell, the show features people with horribly embarrassing or poorly done tattoos who go to some master artists for help. The tattoo artists miraculously turn the bad ink into creative, tactful masterpieces. They don’t remove the bad tattoos. They build over and around them.
We need to handle fear the same way. If our goal is to remove fear from our lives, then every time it flickers to life again we’ve failed. Rather, we build around the fear, master it, and turn it to our advantage.
Thrills and Chills
Personally, I love fear. I’m a thrill seeker. The higher, faster, and more dangerous something is, the more I am drawn to it.
Even if skydiving and bungee jumping isn’t your thing, my guess is that everyone embraces fear to some degree. Just think of how many people enjoy suspenseful movies. Take a minute to consider why roller coasters are so popular. Have you ever seen a billboard advertising the slowest rollercoaster in the country?
Come Experience The Tranquilizer! Gentle Slopes. Tedious Turns. Nothing Matches The Monotony Of The Tranquilizer!
Nope. Not interested.
I had the privilege of watching my boys, ages 5 and 7, experience Disneyland’s Space Mountain for the first time this year. They took some time deciding whether or not they wanted to ride it. As we got closer to the front of the line and began to hear the sound of the cars on the track and the screams of the riders, I could see them beginning to feel apprehensive. I had told them we could get out of line and skip the ride at any time, but they wanted to go ahead.
During the ride one of them screamed his head off and the other was so terrified he was completely silent. The photo waiting at the end of the ride was absolutely priceless. Better yet, they couldn’t wait to do it again. It had been terrifying and exhilarating. We all rode it several times.
Everest vs. Escalators
It’s the hard things that are the most rewarding. If I told you I had reached the summit of Mount Everest I’ll bet you would be impressed. That’s a short list of climbers. If I posted a picture on Facebook of me standing at the top of an escalator with the caption, “I did it!! Bucket list checked!” would you still be as impressed? Not likely.
Being fear-less, as in without fear, sounds pretty boring. I’m not talking about fear from genuine danger, like the fear of being harmed by someone. I’m talking about the fear that flickers to life, or maybe even envelopes us, when we’re facing hard decisions or taking a leap into new territory.
Here are 3 tips I’ve found useful in mastering fear.
- Be specific. Fear thrives within uncertainty. Instead of saying, “I’m planning to write a book,” say, “I’m going to write a 7 chapter book on Leadership Through The Lens Of Improv Comedy by July 31st.” Specific goals help you make specific plans to get moving.
- Find some friends. One of the things I love most about improv is that I don’t do it alone. Someone always has my back. Don’t fight fear alone. Find others to keep you accountable, encourage you, spur you on. When we begin to doubt ourselves, it’s nice to know that others are cheering us on. I was recently part of John Acuff’s 30 Days of Hustle. One of the best parts of that course was hustling alongside and cheering on others via the Facebook group. This blog is a product of that incredibly valuable course.
- Celebrate the small wins. You win more often than you think. In improv we celebrate all the time. We stop and laugh at each others’ jokes. Sometimes it’s just a subtle nod or wink to another actor that says, “that was brilliant!” It’s keeps us moving and having fun. Don’t wait until you’ve finished the big goal to celebrate. Celebrate often.
Rather than fearing fear, let’s embrace the discomfort and intensity it can bring and use it to drive us. There is something about fear and discomfort that lets us know we’re on to something great. Ride that wave. Clench your jaw and allow it to motivate you. Rather than working to remove fear from our lives, let’s take a note from the artists of Bad Ink. Let’s build around it and turn it into something awesome.
I’m in the middle of writing a book on Leadership Through The Lens Of Improv Comedy. I’m battling the fear of feeling unqualified. Who am I to write a book? I’m also using that fear to drive me forward. It’s going to be a great book.
What is one thing you are working on that has you scared? I’d love to see your comments below.
Question: What is one thing you are working on that has you scared? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
My list of fears is long, unfortunately. Things that are mostly like “such-and-such happened to someone else so it could happen to me too.” I’m constantly work into keep my mind focused on that verse that says “whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is right, whatever is honorable…blah, blah, blah…think on these things.”
Thanks for you comments, Monica. I’ve found that gratefulness is a great way to fight the type of “what if” fears you’re talking about. Just a couple of verses ahead of the one you mentioned, in Phil 4:6, we are encouraged to present our requests with thanksgiving. I find that the more I concentrate on being grateful for all the wonderful friends, family, peace, safety, love etc., that I have, I focus less on the scary things that might happen someday. Like a flu shot, gratefulness is a great fear vaccine.
By the way, did you hear about the lady who was reading a blog when her computer screen exploded and burned her face? Weird, right? Hope I haven’t added another fear to your list.
One thing I’m working on that has me scared…. Raising a 10yr old daughter. ?… Nonetheless, I found the blog post refreshingly funny and insightful. Thanks again, Andrew!
Thanks Elijah. A perfect example of having to move forward in unknown territory! It is also a great opportunity to build around this fear and allow it to motivate you. Fear makes us care, and a dad who cares is going to put a lot more time and effort into raising his precious daughter. I’d much rather hear a dad say, “this scares me” than, “whatever, she’ll be fine.”